A Jaunt on the Bus

Allegheny runs what is commonly known as "the loop" on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights so that students may easily get to and from town (cough) without driving themselves, or wandering through Meadville yards. (cough, cough).

So i get on the bus this past Saturday night, after a full day of comping, and spending some time in the CC watching people scarfing hot wings for charity (don't say we're not classy... it was for charity). The old man who was driving the bus is not the same guy who used to take a couple friends and me down to McDonald's after dropping off the drunks at the corner of Park and Chestnut.

First of all... when i got on the bus at Main and Brooks Walk, i think i woke him up as he sat at the stop idling.

Second. He says "i have to wait here about 10 minutes..." as if to say "you may want to find another means of conveyance." Then, after a solid 45 seconds, he took off.

Third. Every turn he took was waaaaaay too tight. I thought i was going to die about five times. One of the times, i actually got out of my seat on the left side of the bus, and moved to the right side of the bus because it looked like he was going to clip a Hummer wit the left side, and... lets face it Gators... nothing wins a collision with a Hummer.

Fourth. When he got to Sherman street, he slowed (on that long straight-away) to a good five miles an hour... evidently because the street is long, and straight and driving at a normal speed would not be fun there.

Fifth. I was the ONLY person on the bus, since i am basically an old man myself, and don't go out very late, and when we got to the corner of Chestnut and Park, he opened the doors. And stared at me.

"i'm getting off at the next stop," I said.

"What next stop?" he asked.

"The Penny Bar." I said.

"The what?"

"The Other Place."

"What is that?... OH! Do you mean 'The Penny Bar?'"

I fought every sardonic desire to say "'The Penny Bar isn't exACTly what i meant by 'The Penny Bar', but it will have to do..." and i just went with "Yes sir."

So we drive the rest of "the loop" to TPB and when he got there he not only drive right past, but drove through the stop sign at the corner of the two alleys. (In his defense, the stop sign there is new, and posted high on a telephone poll, and kind of awkward. You would have to see it to understand.) So he slammed on the breaks half-way into that 'intersection' (if you can even call it an intersection) and then gunned the engine again.

By this time i was standing, and praying, and all i could muster vocally was "ugghhhhh...!"

He stopped the bus again, looked at me and said "OH! I'm sorry! I fogot!" Now, we are not sure if he forgot i was going to TPB, or forgot the stop sign, or forgot that i was even on the bus (i was very quiet) but i was at the bus door by this time, so he opened it.

"Last run is at midnight!" he exlaimed in a jolly tone.

"Midnight...??" i asked, turning as the doors were closing, worried that the bus would stop a good 2 and half hours before the bars closed for the night.

"OH! Two o'clock...!" was all i could make of his reply, since not only were the doors closing as he talked to me, but the bus had already begun to take off again.

After meeting some friends at TPB, i just walked home.