Grandparents and Other Old Stuff

My Grandparents have been a great source of comedic material for me over the past few years. They are just ridiculous human beings at times. Being depression babies, they refuse to throw anything out, because maybe... just maybe... we might be able to use it someday.

The basement is FULL of old stuff... just stuff. It's mostly crap (certainly not literally) for which not only do they have no use, but no one else would want unless they were a scrap and recycling facility. Being young and having only so many earthly possessions of any value (mostly my furniture) I finally pushed them to work with me to clean some of this stuff out of the basement, so that I could store my stuff in there when I move.

"We can try, but I don't know what we are going to be able to get rid of," was all the succession i could get from them. My reply was "How about the toaster that hasn't worked in 40 years?" "Well, that's true, but it doesn't make enough room for your couch!"



So, one Saturday we ventured down the stairs, and started to sift through old stuff. I cannot BELIEVE the worthless garbage they had. Old newspapers with no historical significance; carpet scraps from when they re-carpeted the bedrooms; toys that have been broken for 30 years; literally a bag of recycling that was never taken out.

Thankfully, these two geriatrics have pretty good senses of humor so I was free to crack lots of jokes.

At one point, i reached under the ping pong table (a piece of furniture i had literally heard of all my life, and never laid eyes on because it was piled halfway to the ceiling with junk) and pulled out to two old televisions. I just held them up, and looked at my grandfather. What follows is our exchange:

Grandpa: "The one on the right has picture but no sound, and the one on the left has sound, but no picture... so we figured if our other three sets went bad, we could put these together, and get the sound from one, and the picture from the other, and it would be a one good television."
Me: "I'm throwing these away."
Grandpa: "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

I sometimes wonder what the world will look like in another 20 years. One of my favorite songs is The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again," the rallying-cry anthem for angered and newly-wise youth for decades. The line that haunts me is the final one: "meet the new boss, same as the old boss."

There is this whole air of polarization with the previous generations that the people my age just cannot seem to comprehend. Even our once "liberal" grandparents seem to get to an age where everything is a cause for indignation. "That was never how it was when i was your age," or "I remember when a coke was a nickel!"

That is funny (and sometimes obnoxious) but it is mostly harmless. What really scares me is the intolerance and anger caused by knee-jerk reactions from a still-politically-polarized older generation. They see one thing that they are not sure about, and they get all up-in-arms. You mention universal health care and they pull the "socialism card." You talk about conservation and "going green" and suddenly they see you as a hippie, and a tree-huger. Its B.S.

I certainly have issues with people on the far left. I always have. I don't need someone to yell at me because they don't think i know how to recycle, and I find it laughable that PETA wants us to call fish "sea kittens" so that we will feel more sympathetic to them, and therefore less likely to eat them. But I am equally disgusted by conservatives who refuse to actually conserve. People who think it is funny, or a form of protest to go through recycling bins and throw stuff out because they "hate hippies that much." If you hate hippies that much, then destroy hemp clothing, or blast Ted Nugent... don't ruin the planet for everyone. You're morons.

My sincerest of hopes is that the understanding and openness I see in most of my peers is something to which we are able to hold. It is an interesting time we live in; we are not the hippie counter-culture of the 60's, all about screwing the man, and free love, and do whatever makes you feel good and all is well in the world. We are a different kind of radical. We are radical that says you don't have to tow the party line. You can actually think for yourself, and fall on one side or the other, depending on the issue at hand.

It is strange that being a legitimate "moderate" is such a radical thing. I recently had someone tell me that there is no such thing as a moderate... just someone who is too afraid to admit what they really think. The funny thing is I have heard that form the extremities of both sides of the spectrum. It was strange, too, because for the longest time I was just afraid to admit that I was a moderate.

I hope and pray that my generation can hold on to the open mindedness that most of us have. We don't need to compromise our beliefs, or cater to others, but just understand that it is our differences that make us worth knowing, and worth listening to. If we all thought the same, wed have nothing to talk about.