What just happened?
I assume a lot of the Black and Gold faithful are talking about the lack of Hines Ward, and the mid-game loss of Troy and even the presence of out former offensive coordinator on the Arizona sidelines as the head coach... however todays loss was simply unacceptable.
What was up with Willie Parker? Last week i finally gave him props as a good running back, as he earned over 100 yards rushing for the third week straight... but today he was unable to hit more than 2 maybe three yards per carry on most runs. What was up with that? I have not looked at the post-game stats but i would guess that he averaged something like 1.8 yards per carry. What the hell?
Ben didn't exactly make me happy. He was sacked several times, and didn't complete a lot of passes. (At one point he was like 0 for his last 8 attempts). However, I am not sure this was entirely his fault, as much as i would like to just blame him.
Ben did seem, however, to be doing relatively well with the play calls he was given/calling (I am not sure who was calling the plays since his helmet is wired). He was avoiding some big sacks, and scrambling well, but for some reason the play calling was terrible. He was way better from the shotgun, but they still lined him up right behind the center on most plays.
Also, once we had established that we were TRYING to use the run-game (although it clearly was not working) we neglected to use play-action when we were throwing to our receivers. How hard is it to fake a hand off to Parker of Davenport? We were giving them the ball on almost every play, and they were not getting anywhere, so why wouldn't we use play action to make the Cardinals bite on the run, and THEN pass down the field.
As for our receivers... groan. Big pathetic groan. Dropping stuff left and right. Roethlisberger had some passes that were border-line perfect, and they couldn't pull them in. Let's face the facts here... Hines has not had all our receptions this year. He is a leader, but I have been impressed with out use of all our receivers. His absence on the field did not warrant this kind of pathetic show of offense. Step it up, boys.
I wrote last week about this being the year of the Tight-Ends so far... what happened to that? I know there are maybe three people who read this blog, and that includes me, so you cannot blame it on me putting it out there, and then Arizona finding out that Miller and Tuman are assets to our offense. (It also sucked that the CBS announcers, Gumble and his cohort, kept calling Miller "Tuman" and vice versa.) We should have been looking to 83 and 84 a whole lot more today to convert our third downs. Again, step it up.
The Alleghetor called his dad at halftime to talk about why were doing so poorly. "We are up by 7 at the half" he said. "You are too high-strung during football games." Oh well... I hate that i am like Nostradamus and i can call a bad game at the half. I can only pray that this was the wake-up call we needed so that we realize we have a long way to go before the playoffs are a reality.
~The Ghetor
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
1300 CATS? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I dislike cats. i think everyone who knows me well knows this. There have been two cats in my life i have liked. One is our CCO representative's cougar. Ok... it may not be a real cougar, but the thing is huge... ginromous even. And i like it, cause the cat's owner treated it like a puppy when it was young, so now it acts like a dog that lands softly on it's feet. Never experienced wrestling with a cat before.
The other cat I liked, unfortunately, had a brain tumor. It was super affectionate and sweet... not mean like most of the felines that make up Satan's army of darkness and death. My uncle James only liked one cat too, (i think the dislike runs in my family) and that cat had survived it's head being crushed in a recliner, giving it brain damage (do i see a trend starting?) According to family folklore Jim is credited with the line "It took severe brain damage to make a cat likable." I agree. Cats should be harvested when they cease to be kittens.
So you can imagine my horror when a friend of mine mentioned that a 1993 study at the University of Wisconsin in Madison estimated that there were 1,295 cats per square mile in the city. 1300 CATS IN A SQUARE MILE! GROSS! That is 1300 little naked pink butts sitting on counters and 1300 little rough tongues licking faucets in kitchens and bathrooms... 1300 smelly sandboxes making basements and bathroom smell like death. What is the matter with Americans?
At least in 1484, Pope Innocent decreed that all Cats and Cat lovers be burned in the Inquisition... He understood that they were in league with the Devil. Seriously... Google it.
At least the inquisition got one thing right.
The other cat I liked, unfortunately, had a brain tumor. It was super affectionate and sweet... not mean like most of the felines that make up Satan's army of darkness and death. My uncle James only liked one cat too, (i think the dislike runs in my family) and that cat had survived it's head being crushed in a recliner, giving it brain damage (do i see a trend starting?) According to family folklore Jim is credited with the line "It took severe brain damage to make a cat likable." I agree. Cats should be harvested when they cease to be kittens.
So you can imagine my horror when a friend of mine mentioned that a 1993 study at the University of Wisconsin in Madison estimated that there were 1,295 cats per square mile in the city. 1300 CATS IN A SQUARE MILE! GROSS! That is 1300 little naked pink butts sitting on counters and 1300 little rough tongues licking faucets in kitchens and bathrooms... 1300 smelly sandboxes making basements and bathroom smell like death. What is the matter with Americans?
At least in 1484, Pope Innocent decreed that all Cats and Cat lovers be burned in the Inquisition... He understood that they were in league with the Devil. Seriously... Google it.
At least the inquisition got one thing right.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Crossing and Walking
So i was walking across campus today, answering urgent texts from all the ladies in my life (shakes head to indicate he is lying) when i got to North Main street. I could tell i was at one of the new super wide, super awesome crosswalks because the blinding white light that was reflecting off the pavement was giving me an instant tan.
I decided to keep right on trucking across the street, and if a car hit me so be it. Here is the thing... in PA, pedestrians have the right of way. No questions. You're walking, you take precedence. Cars HAVE to stop for you. So the way i figure it, if a car hits me, the settlement would probably pay for my college, and at 36 or 37 grand a year just for tuition at this point, those loans are piling up. So yeah... I may be the kid that is walking blindly across the street, cause here in the Commonwealth... we are in charge on foot.
I decided to keep right on trucking across the street, and if a car hit me so be it. Here is the thing... in PA, pedestrians have the right of way. No questions. You're walking, you take precedence. Cars HAVE to stop for you. So the way i figure it, if a car hits me, the settlement would probably pay for my college, and at 36 or 37 grand a year just for tuition at this point, those loans are piling up. So yeah... I may be the kid that is walking blindly across the street, cause here in the Commonwealth... we are in charge on foot.
Holland Quotes 2nd Edition
Ok... as promised, some more Quotes from the true Glenn Holland:
(Remember that these are comments made in the midst of lecture, often with no difference in tone from the legitimate lecture. Very dry.)
1. "Generally people don't come back from the dead, and if they do you don't want to see them because they tend to follow you around, or eat your brains... or have you vote for them."
2. "Egyptians were not just obsessed with death and the afterlife. They were not like a bunch of ancient Goths, walking around depressed all the time."
3. "There is a body of a Neolithic hunter who was found in the Alps, frozen. And scientists can learn a lot from that body about Neolithic hunters who were dumb enough to get lost in the Alps."
4. (While looking for a dry erase board marker) "...I don't want to write 'coffin texts' in red... that seems a little too grotesque."
5. "Psychology is actually 'the study of the soul,' these people (motioning to Psych department) don't know anything ABOUT souls."
6. (On texts written on the inside of coffins) "The mummies must have been buried with a Bic or a flashlight to read them, I guess."
7. "Egyptians saw the milky way as the Heavenly Nile... what we see as candy bars, they see as rivers."
8. "If you run into Osiris, he will be a mummy... make sure you say 'hi'."
Also, the gates of heaven just opened up and once again, i am attending school in Mudville. Ok, i rearranged the bedroom today, and i am all sweaty, so its time for this 'Ghetor to shower before heading out.
Peace, Fhqwhgads.
(Remember that these are comments made in the midst of lecture, often with no difference in tone from the legitimate lecture. Very dry.)
1. "Generally people don't come back from the dead, and if they do you don't want to see them because they tend to follow you around, or eat your brains... or have you vote for them."
2. "Egyptians were not just obsessed with death and the afterlife. They were not like a bunch of ancient Goths, walking around depressed all the time."
3. "There is a body of a Neolithic hunter who was found in the Alps, frozen. And scientists can learn a lot from that body about Neolithic hunters who were dumb enough to get lost in the Alps."
4. (While looking for a dry erase board marker) "...I don't want to write 'coffin texts' in red... that seems a little too grotesque."
5. "Psychology is actually 'the study of the soul,' these people (motioning to Psych department) don't know anything ABOUT souls."
6. (On texts written on the inside of coffins) "The mummies must have been buried with a Bic or a flashlight to read them, I guess."
7. "Egyptians saw the milky way as the Heavenly Nile... what we see as candy bars, they see as rivers."
8. "If you run into Osiris, he will be a mummy... make sure you say 'hi'."
Also, the gates of heaven just opened up and once again, i am attending school in Mudville. Ok, i rearranged the bedroom today, and i am all sweaty, so its time for this 'Ghetor to shower before heading out.
Peace, Fhqwhgads.
The Ghetor Procrastinates
Ok, yesterday was hot... oppressive even. People were walking all over campus yelling in british accents "'elp, 'elp! I'm being oppressed!" It was hotter than balls... and that is not employing the use of hyperbole: i drove by a bank with an analog thermometer, and the mercury was right past the notch marked "balls".
On another note, to those of you who might actually read my blog, you should both check out the steelers application on facebook if you have it. I have found that the trivia part of the application is addicting. If i am not mistaken i just passed 3500 total points.
On a sadder note, Professor Holland will not be teaching next semester... Something about sabbatical to write a book. I wish i could take sabbatical... oh well. This just means I'll have to soak up what wit i can this semester. I took a whole page of stuff from him yesterday, so as soon as i filter out what is good i'll be sure to post that too.
Ok, i should comp. The research chapter of this project has kind of hit a slow spot, so i need to look for more sources... i.e. more music based movies to watch.
On another note, to those of you who might actually read my blog, you should both check out the steelers application on facebook if you have it. I have found that the trivia part of the application is addicting. If i am not mistaken i just passed 3500 total points.
On a sadder note, Professor Holland will not be teaching next semester... Something about sabbatical to write a book. I wish i could take sabbatical... oh well. This just means I'll have to soak up what wit i can this semester. I took a whole page of stuff from him yesterday, so as soon as i filter out what is good i'll be sure to post that too.
Ok, i should comp. The research chapter of this project has kind of hit a slow spot, so i need to look for more sources... i.e. more music based movies to watch.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Holland Quotes: First Edition
I once again have class with one of the smartest and most sardonic professors in the history of education: Professor Glenn Holland (yeah... not the one with the Opus.) The Religious Studies Department here never was and never is never as rich as when Professor Holland is teaching. He tends to say things seriously, and then add a sarcastic afterthought, in a way of mocking what he just said. I am often the only person laughing at 9:30am.
Let me remind you that this is the man who, when discussing the parable of the prodigal son said, "... the prodigal son, which would be more appropriately titled 'The Crazy Old Man, and his Two Loser Kids.'"
Amazing.
This semester the subject is "Near Eastern Religions in the times of the Ancient" (title changed to maintain anonymity. wink, wink.). Here are just a couple of the quotes i managed to record:
1. "...and that is why they would have eaten, say, black jelly beans... there might be another reason to eat black jelly beans... I've never found one."
2. (talking about not just relying solely on prayer): "You don't JUST get down on your knees and pray, you also look under the hood... or call AAA if you are a hopeless loser like me."
3. (on Egyptian Creation Myths) "so that is where everything came from... Then there was the cat. No one knows where it came from, it just showed up. (pause) Please don't put that in your notes; I have had students write that kind of stuff down and then it come back to haunt me on their tests. (mocking a past student, in a whiny voice): 'But you said...!' No."
4. "...Or the scarab, who is the God of the Rising Sun... and has a house in New Orleans. So moving on, we can see that..."
5. (While showing a slide of a representation of an Egyptian God): "That is a nice representation of Toth. If you ever run into Toth, I'm pretty sure this is what he will look like... actually, if you ever run into Toth, you might want to check yourself into rehab. And tell Lindsay (Lohan) hello."
the man is great.
Let me remind you that this is the man who, when discussing the parable of the prodigal son said, "... the prodigal son, which would be more appropriately titled 'The Crazy Old Man, and his Two Loser Kids.'"
Amazing.
This semester the subject is "Near Eastern Religions in the times of the Ancient" (title changed to maintain anonymity. wink, wink.). Here are just a couple of the quotes i managed to record:
1. "...and that is why they would have eaten, say, black jelly beans... there might be another reason to eat black jelly beans... I've never found one."
2. (talking about not just relying solely on prayer): "You don't JUST get down on your knees and pray, you also look under the hood... or call AAA if you are a hopeless loser like me."
3. (on Egyptian Creation Myths) "so that is where everything came from... Then there was the cat. No one knows where it came from, it just showed up. (pause) Please don't put that in your notes; I have had students write that kind of stuff down and then it come back to haunt me on their tests. (mocking a past student, in a whiny voice): 'But you said...!' No."
4. "...Or the scarab, who is the God of the Rising Sun... and has a house in New Orleans. So moving on, we can see that..."
5. (While showing a slide of a representation of an Egyptian God): "That is a nice representation of Toth. If you ever run into Toth, I'm pretty sure this is what he will look like... actually, if you ever run into Toth, you might want to check yourself into rehab. And tell Lindsay (Lohan) hello."
the man is great.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
DH goodness
I forgot to mention this...
Opening week i went down to the Steelers Bar in town to watch the game. They had a free buffet set up... rigatoni, rolls, finger food... and for the Browns fans from the dog pound: Dog biscuits. Awesome.
Even with three browns fans in the room it was a friendly environment. The best part was midway through the first half the brown dropped yet another pass for an incompletion and one of the browns fans stood up in the midst of the hoopla, and shouted over the crowd, to his own reciever "COME ON! YOU COULDN'T CATCH POLIO IN THE '30s!"
...yeah, it rocked.
Opening week i went down to the Steelers Bar in town to watch the game. They had a free buffet set up... rigatoni, rolls, finger food... and for the Browns fans from the dog pound: Dog biscuits. Awesome.
Even with three browns fans in the room it was a friendly environment. The best part was midway through the first half the brown dropped yet another pass for an incompletion and one of the browns fans stood up in the midst of the hoopla, and shouted over the crowd, to his own reciever "COME ON! YOU COULDN'T CATCH POLIO IN THE '30s!"
...yeah, it rocked.
Tight Ends, Willie and halftime
Ok... there are 37 seconds left in the first half, and we are up 14-6. Rock On. Anyone who knows me knows that I have been slow to buy into the whole "Fast Willie" thing. I have always felt that he tries too much to break tackles and play like a big guy. The truth of it is that he is small... and runs a 4.29 40. Lets be serious... run outside. It isn't hard to figure out... you are smaller than everyone on the other side of the line of scrimmage, but you are twice as fast... run around them...
Anyway, if i am going to be quite serious, he is tearing it up today. Props to you Fast Willie.
What i really want to comment on is the tight ends. What a asset to our team, right? About 10 years ago my dad bought me a #83 jersey, back between Lipps and Holiday wearing the number in the early 90's. When we drafted Heath in the first round in '05 I watched him like a hawk... I mean let's be serious here. I have been wearing number 83 for over a decade, and he had been wearing it for exactly never.
Anyway, he turned out to be great, and our tight ends have something like 4 of our 6 touchdowns at this week three halftime juncture. Awesome. Heath has some great catches today, and Tuman has a TD. Nice.
P.S. if we keep blocking for Rossum, we might have something there.
P.P.S. Pittgirl is right: Steely McBeam is the giantest vacuum of suck EVER.
Anyway, if i am going to be quite serious, he is tearing it up today. Props to you Fast Willie.
What i really want to comment on is the tight ends. What a asset to our team, right? About 10 years ago my dad bought me a #83 jersey, back between Lipps and Holiday wearing the number in the early 90's. When we drafted Heath in the first round in '05 I watched him like a hawk... I mean let's be serious here. I have been wearing number 83 for over a decade, and he had been wearing it for exactly never.
Anyway, he turned out to be great, and our tight ends have something like 4 of our 6 touchdowns at this week three halftime juncture. Awesome. Heath has some great catches today, and Tuman has a TD. Nice.
P.S. if we keep blocking for Rossum, we might have something there.
P.P.S. Pittgirl is right: Steely McBeam is the giantest vacuum of suck EVER.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Ye Be Talkin' like a Buccaneer!
So today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. People the world over say things like "Ye be walkin' the plank, scalawags!"... either that or they careen around doing bad Keith Richards impersonations, and slurring their words, adding "savvy?" to the end of everything. (shudder) too much eye make-up.
Naturally, being from the burgh, i donned my Jason Bay jersey, and headed off for class saying things like "thanks God we fired Littlefield!" and "alright, boys. Next year, we will finally play some .500 ball!," and of course, the ever popular "hey, remember the 1970's and "we are family?" those were the days." Yeah, i can talk like a Pirate.
the 'Ghetor
Naturally, being from the burgh, i donned my Jason Bay jersey, and headed off for class saying things like "thanks God we fired Littlefield!" and "alright, boys. Next year, we will finally play some .500 ball!," and of course, the ever popular "hey, remember the 1970's and "we are family?" those were the days." Yeah, i can talk like a Pirate.
the 'Ghetor
Bike Share Time
So recently, in an effort to appease the liberals on global warming and the conservatives on saving money on fuel, Allegheny started a bike-share program. Not gonna lie: it rocks. The bikes are painted BRIGHT green; for serious, if the sun were green instead of yellow-ish orange and you were standing on the surface of it right in the middle of the nuclear fusion, this is the color you would be engulfed in.
Anyway, these bikes are left laying around campus and if you see one, you take it. Just make sure you leave it on campus when you are done. Beautiful. Haven't heard so many people asking each other "hey, wanna go ride bikes?" since i worked at A.D.D. camp a few summers ago.
The best part of these bikes is that they are ancient. No joke. Remember that episode of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman where they gave Sully the bike? (I have sisters, i was allowed to watch that show). I am pretty sure a lot of these are the same model. They are the kind of old where, when they break down, you call the college carpenter. Awesome.
the 'Ghetor
Anyway, these bikes are left laying around campus and if you see one, you take it. Just make sure you leave it on campus when you are done. Beautiful. Haven't heard so many people asking each other "hey, wanna go ride bikes?" since i worked at A.D.D. camp a few summers ago.
The best part of these bikes is that they are ancient. No joke. Remember that episode of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman where they gave Sully the bike? (I have sisters, i was allowed to watch that show). I am pretty sure a lot of these are the same model. They are the kind of old where, when they break down, you call the college carpenter. Awesome.
the 'Ghetor
Welcome to the Alleghetor
So this is the Alleghetor Blog. A blog from the heart of Allegheny College. Nice.
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