I was watching a stand-up special last week on Comedy Central and as they went to commercial I heard the worst thing you can hear when watching TV these days: Sarah Mclaughlin's "Arms of the Angels."
Here's why it is the worst thing ever. It's the ASPCA's new theme song for sad looking homeless pets. The music starts, and it's sickening already, but the torture has only just begun. They proceed to show slowed down, black and white footage of the cutest and saddest puppies and kittens you've ever seen in your life. Just big wet, noses behind eyes that say "Why do you hate me? I only want to love!" all trapped in black and white (or worse... sepia!) stacked cages and kennels.
And then... and then comes the voice over: "Join the ASPCA in helping to find animals just like these a home. Save a life, adopt today, or we are GOING TO KILL THIS PUPPY WITH THIS KITTEN AT NOON!" "DO IT!"
(to the tune of Arms of the Angels): Oh this dog is an angel, watch him cry....
VO: "You don't want us to kill this kitten do you?"
(music): And this kitten is an angel, why or why... we must try
VO: "seriously... we put down like 100 of these things each day. If you don't adopt ALL of them you're a bad person."
(music): Cause i have this large needle.... in my hand. And if you don't send me money... man oh man... this dog's damned!
VO: "SEND US MONEY OR THIS DOG'S LIFE IS ON YOUR CONSCIOUS!!! ZIS IZ AUSCHVITZ DOG!"
then no joke... this is true... they show a slow-mo, black and white shot of a sad seal! A SEAL! Who the hell is going to go to the ASPCA and adopt a damned seal? "And this is our master bath... but we have to take sponge baths cause flapper the seal lives in here now."
As a dog lover myself, I got my sister a rescue dog, and that bitch is amazing (the dog... my sister is no b-word!) but I still feel like an awful person every time I see this commercial. Such cheap manipulation. If you're looking for a good cry, just head on over to youtube. I wouldn't recommend it.
