Mr. Comcastic, pretty Craptastic (to the tune of "bombastic")

Yupp... I am a comcast digital cable subscriber. I have to say that the genesis of this reality was not by choice, but by conscience and lack of options. When i moved into my place, i was hitting the neighbor's wireless network, which he did not (and still does not) have locked.

After a couple weeks I came to the conclusion that this was wrong, and i should be paying for my own services. There may be other internet providers in our area, but the porblem came when attaching television services. Based on my field of expertise, and desired employment, television service becomes an essential part of staying current.

Comcast has a monopoly on cable service in the Pittsburgh area. I am not sure how this happened, but people in power seem to be ok with it, while the general populace has fewer sources of common disdain. So, the cheapest way for us to get service was to bundle cable and internet through Comcast.

I have never been more unhappy with a service provider in my entire life. I am not saying that DirecTV or Verizon FiOs would nessecarily warrant a Christmas card for their service but I have trouble believing they could be as frustrating and irksome as Comcast.

For starters, I had an advertisment in my mailbox for a year of bundled services at a certain rate. So I called. The sales guy, however, told me that they were not honoring that in my area and they could only give me 6 months at that price. I politely explained that their company had delivered a flier to my mailbox and i was looking right at it. I had a code and everything. "sorry... that promotion just ended..." seemingly 30 seconds before i called.

Then I explained that I wanted the cheapest plan with internet, and cable where i got to watch Pirates (why? i dunno, really...) Penguins and Steelers games. He spouted off about 8 different plans, so fast that i am convinced he was trying ot confuse me and get me to take the biggest package.

He then offered to set me up with the "super deluxe premium 8-billion sports channels alone package" for "only your arm, leg and first born... after a 20 organ mail-in rebate" or something rediculous.

Again I explained that I didn't need this. Then he did something i can still hear today. He sighed like I was both waisting his time and burning a once-in-a-lifetime-gift he had congured for me. Here i am, trying to purchase his company's "product" (if you can even call it that) and he is giving me guff.

So i finally signed up for something simple-sounding, and had to call later to refine the plan with a customer service rep. Thanks Sales Guy...jerk.

So, when I called to talk to the customer service rep, I set up auto-pay. I was told this was done.

HOWEVER... the next month i recieved a little yellow strip of paper in the mail form Comcast; "If you don't pay us what you owe plus more, we will tear off your remainig limbs... and then we'll cancel your service." So i called. The answer was "oh... yeah, for some reason the auto-pay didn't take effect. Our bad. Now pay us."

So i set it up again and paid them. I would sue, but i don't see litigation being worth 75 dollars. I would spend that in a consultation, i am sure. So i pay. I pay it all down, and i set up auto-pay AGAIN... and i get CONFIRMATION that it is set up successfully and my account will be debited.

deep breath.

what do i recieve this month in the mail another "If you don't pay us what you owe plus more, we will tear off your remainig limbs... and then we'll cancel your service." Yupp little piece of paper #2. So i call again. And here is the thing... they keep records of all my calls. The guys says "oh yes... i see you called before and set up auto-pay and paid for part of it"... no, i paid for all of it..."uhm... hold please... oh i see what she did. she only made you pay part of it. Auto-pay doesn't take effect for two months (because that makes sense) and she only made you pay one of the months"... but i was told i was all squared away and paid off..."well... that was wrong."... well now i have a late fee..."i see that"... i don't like that... "i am sorry to hear that. is there anything else we can do for you today?"... can you take any of these charges off?..."i am sorry, i cannot do that."... may i talk to your supervisor?..."there is no supervisor here."

Convenient.

THIS is why monopolies were banned under federal law. And just reliving this is raising my blood pressure so i am going to stop typing... just... hopefully someday this will all be righted... kharma... right? right? anyone? ...bueller?