Oregon Trail

So I recently realized that everything I learned about the Oregon Trail came directly from the computer game. Here are a few bullet points:

1. I know that you want to be either the Banker so you can buy tons of goods for the trip, or the Doctor, cause everyone is going to get Dysentery, or be bitten by a snake.

2. NEVER ford the river... all your freaking Oxen will die.

3. Hunting is awesome... but you will never be able to carry all the bison you shoot. You just won't.

4. There is no way you are reaching the end of the trail.

5. It is funny to name family members things like "Your Crotch" so that midway through the game/trail you get a message like "Your Crotch got Typhoid and died."

(Snicker)

That is about it. I cannot even tell you why people were fleeing to Oregon on what is almost certainly a doomed trek. No one ever beat the game. What were these people escaping? Were they being persecuted in Chicago for their wagons and deicided to head out into the wild west? I have news for you... if you walked like a mile west of Chicago you were in the Wild West. There was nothing out there. Why go all the way to Oregon? Just to get away from all the civilization?

Also... remember the Donner Party? The people who got lost and ended up eating each other to stay alive? I think what really happend is that they stopped at an Olive Garden halfway along their journey, but it was the dinner rush and they couldn't wait.

So when their name was finally called it was like "Donner, party of 10... Donner, party of 10... Donner, party of... 9? Donner party of... 8?"

hah. Cannibalism.