Saturday, April 5, 2008

Quick... GET IN HOVEROUND!




Well, law enforcement reached a new low this week. A man in an electric wheelchair -with his whole leg sticking straight out in a cast- robbed a bank in California and got away. He got away. A geriatric in a wheelchair.

Let's break down what probably happened, shall we?

The guy rolls up to outside of the bank like Dr. Strangelove. His leg is prohibiting him from opening the door, so he has to wait for someone to come out of the bank. When they do, he wheels his way into the establishment.

After checking his oxygen tank, and making sure the tube is securely positioned under his nose he adjusts his driving cap puts on his old-man sunglasses, and removes the afghan from his lap, revealing a pistol.

Someone sees it and screams, people dive for cover, and startled by the commotion and loud noises the guy bumps the joy-stick on his wheelchair to the side, and starts spinning around and around yelling "this is a stick-up!"

After he gains control of the chair he wheels up to the teller, still brandishing the pistol. By this time SOMEONE in the bank has pushed that panic button, and the police have to have been alerted. The old man asks for as much money as he can fit in the basket on the back of his scooter, and turns around to leave.

Getting to the door, he has to have someone (probably a "hostage") help him with the door. then he gleefully zips down the sidewalk at a brisk 4 mph or so.

I can hear the police radio conversation now: "Control, this is Unit 10-8... we are in slow pursuit on foot of a armed man heading east down the sidewalk of Main Street on a Rascal. Please send bicycle backup."

"Roger that unit 10-8... Amble with caution."

1 comment:

Pfeif said...

i would like an update, please.